Three months after burying my fianc\u00e9, I forced myself to work another wedding. Then I saw his mother slipping away from me, and her reaction made no sense.
\nAdrian and I were supposed to get married that summer.<\/p>\n
By spring, almost everything was ready. We\u2019d already booked the venue. I\u2019d chosen my dress.<\/p>\n
We argued over cake flavors and laughed at how ridiculous we sounded.<\/p>\n
He wanted chocolate.<\/p>\n
I wanted lemon.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe\u2019re seriously fighting over cake now?\u201d Adrian asked one night, staring at me across our kitchen table.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe\u2019re not fighting,\u201d I said. \u201cI\u2019m explaining why you\u2019re wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n
He laughed so hard he nearly spilled his coffee.<\/p>\n
Those were the moments I kept returning to later.<\/p>\n
Not the big plans. Not the guest list or the flowers.
\nI remembered his laugh, the way he leaned against the counter, and how certain I had been that we had years ahead of us.<\/p>\n
Then, six weeks before our wedding, Adrian died in a car accident.<\/p>\n
There was no warning. No final conversation. No chance to say anything important.<\/p>\n
One day, I was deciding where to seat his difficult uncle.<\/p>\n
The next, I was identifying Adrian\u2019s belongings.<\/p>\n
The crash was so bad that we buried him in a closed casket.<\/p>\n
I remember standing beside his mother, Colleen, at the funeral, holding her hand while they lowered Adrian into the ground.<\/p>\n
She squeezed my fingers so hard they hurt.<\/p>\n
Neither of us said much.<\/p>\n
There wasn\u2019t anything useful to say.<\/p>\n
People kept coming up to me afterward, quietly.<\/p>\n
They hugged me, told me Adrian loved me, and promised that time would make things easier.
\nI nodded because I didn\u2019t know what else to do.<\/p>\n
I thought that was the worst day of my life.<\/p>\n
Three months later, I learned I was wrong.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m a florist.<\/p>\n
Before Adrian died, weddings had always been my favorite jobs.<\/p>\n
I loved arriving before the guests, when venues still felt unfinished. I loved watching empty rooms slowly become celebrations.<\/p>\n
Flowers could change everything.<\/p>\n
A plain table became romantic with the right centerpiece.<\/p>\n
A cold ballroom became warm with greenery and candlelight. A nervous bride could relax the second someone placed a bouquet in her hands.<\/p>\n
After Adrian died, I couldn\u2019t even look at a bridal bouquet without thinking about the one I\u2019d chosen for myself.<\/p>\n
I stopped accepting weddings.<\/p>\n
For weeks, I handled birthdays, corporate events, and sympathy arrangements instead.<\/p>\n
Anything but weddings.<\/p>\n
Even hearing someone say the word \u201cfianc\u00e9\u201d could make my stomach tighten.<\/p>\n
But eventually, I had bills to pay.<\/p>\n
Grief did not stop rent from being due.<\/p>\n
It didn\u2019t pay suppliers or keep my shop running.<\/p>\n
So three months after his funeral, I finally agreed to start taking wedding jobs again.<\/p>\n
I told myself work might help.<\/p>\n
That morning, another florist I sometimes worked with called in sick and asked if I could cover a wedding for her.<\/p>\n
She sounded miserable.<\/p>\n
\u201cI know it\u2019s last minute,\u201d she said. \u201cI wouldn\u2019t ask unless I really needed you.\u201d<\/p>\n
I looked around my shop.<\/p>\n
Buckets of roses sat near the cooler.<\/p>\n
My assistant was already organizing deliveries.<\/p>\n
Every part of me wanted to say no.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll do it,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n
A few hours later, I was arranging flowers at a reception venue I\u2019d never worked at before when I saw a familiar woman near the entrance.<\/p>\n
Colleen.<\/p>\n
For a second, I thought grief was playing another trick on me.<\/p>\n
Then she turned slightly.<\/p>\n
It was definitely her.<\/p>\n
I almost called out to her.<\/p>\n
Then she saw me.<\/p>\n
Her expression shifted from neither sadness nor surprise into something resembling fear.<\/p>\n
She immediately turned away and disappeared down a side hallway.<\/p>\n
That was strange.<\/p>\n
Colleen and I hadn\u2019t spoken much since Adrian died, but why would she hide from me?<\/p>\n
I followed her.<\/p>\n
\u201cColleen?\u201d<\/p>\n
She stopped.<\/p>\n
For a second, she just stared at me.<\/p>\n
\u201cMeredith?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat exactly are you doing here right now?\u201d<\/p>\n
She looked nervous.<\/p>\n
\u201cI could ask you the same thing.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m working. I\u2019m the florist.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHere?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes. Why?\u201d<\/p>\n
Before she could answer, a wedding coordinator hurried toward us.<\/p>\n
\u201cMs. Colleen, we\u2019ve been looking everywhere for you. The groom needs his mother.\u201d<\/p>\n
I stared at Colleen.<\/p>\n
For a moment, that seemed to explain everything.<\/p>\n
Adrian had an older brother, Julian.<\/p>\n
Of course.<\/p>\n
This must be his wedding.<\/p>\n
Julian and I had always gotten along well.<\/p>\n
He had been quieter than Adrian, but he was kind to me.<\/p>\n
At holidays, he was usually the person helping me carry dishes into the kitchen while everyone else argued over football.<\/p>\n
I won\u2019t lie \u2014 it hurt a little that he hadn\u2019t invited me.<\/p>\n
But after Adrian\u2019s death, I\u2019d barely spoken to his family.<\/p>\n
Maybe they thought a wedding would be too painful for me.<\/p>\n
Maybe Julian had decided that seeing him stand at an altar would remind me too much of everything I\u2019d lost.<\/p>\n
I tried not to take it personally.<\/p>\n
Then I noticed the corsage on her wrist.<\/p>\n
I\u2019d made it myself that morning.<\/p>\n
It was for the groom\u2019s mother.<\/p>\n
Colleen glanced at me, then quickly followed the coordinator away.<\/p>\n
I watched her leave.<\/p>\n
Something still felt wrong.<\/p>\n
I told myself that explained her strange behavior.<\/p>\n
Maybe she\u2019d simply felt awkward seeing me here.<\/p>\n
Maybe she thought I would be upset.<\/p>\n
Maybe she felt guilty that Julian was getting married only three months after Adrian\u2019s funeral.<\/p>\n
I forced myself back to work.<\/p>\n
There were arrangements to finish. Candles had to be placed. The ceremony flowers needed one final check.<\/p>\n
A few minutes later, I spotted her near the groom\u2019s room.<\/p>\n
This time, I almost walked away.<\/p>\n
Of course she was there. Her son was getting married.<\/p>\n
Still, something about the way she moved bothered me.<\/p>\n
She looked around before slipping inside.<\/p>\n
Then I heard Colleen\u2019s voice.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou need to hurry. The ceremony starts in 20 minutes.\u201d<\/p>\n
A man answered.<\/p>\n
I stopped.<\/p>\n
That wasn\u2019t Julian\u2019s voice.<\/p>\n
Something about it made my whole body go cold.<\/p>\n
I had heard that voice half asleep in the morning.<\/p>\n
I had heard it whisper beside me in movie theaters.<\/p>\n
I had heard it arguing about cake.<\/p>\n
But that was impossible.<\/p>\n
I moved closer to the door.<\/p>\n
Through the narrow opening, I could see Colleen.<\/p>\n
Then the man stepped into view.<\/p>\n
My hand flew to my mouth.<\/p>\n
Adrian.<\/p>\n
Alive.<\/p>\n
And he was wearing the same suit he\u2019d bought for our wedding.<\/p>\n
I couldn\u2019t move.<\/p>\n
For one terrible second, my mind rejected what my eyes were showing me.<\/p>\n
\u201cDoes everything look okay?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n
Colleen adjusted his tie.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou look perfect.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adrian smiled.<\/p>\n
\u201cGood. I don\u2019t want anything going wrong today.\u201d<\/p>\n
I stumbled backward before either of them could see me.<\/p>\n
My heart was pounding so hard that I could hear it.<\/p>\n
Three months earlier, I\u2019d stood at Adrian\u2019s funeral believing I\u2019d never hear his voice again.<\/p>\n
Now he was alive.<\/p>\n
His mother knew.<\/p>\n
And they had both let me mourn him.<\/p>\n
I turned and ran.<\/p>\n
I barely made it to the restroom before the tears came.<\/p>\n
I locked myself inside and cried until I could barely breathe.<\/p>\n
My phone started ringing. It was my assistant.<\/p>\n
\u201cMeredith? The coordinator\u2019s looking for you. They\u2019re about to start.\u201d<\/p>\n
I looked at myself in the mirror.<\/p>\n
My eyes were swollen.<\/p>\n
My mascara was ruined.<\/p>\n
\u201cMeredith? Are you okay?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you want me to take over?\u201d<\/p>\n
I thought about Adrian.<\/p>\n
Alive. Smiling.<\/p>\n
Getting ready for a wedding while I\u2019d spent three months grieving him.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you sure?\u201d<\/p>\n
I wiped my face and picked up my florist badge.<\/p>\n
And suddenly, I knew exactly what I was going to do next \u2014 and how I was going to make Adrian regret what he\u2019d done to me.<\/p>\n
I stood in front of the mirror for another few seconds.<\/p>\n
My hands were still shaking.<\/p>\n
Part of me wanted to leave.<\/p>\n
Another part wanted to find Adrian and demand an explanation.<\/p>\n
But somehow, neither option felt remotely possible anymore.<\/p>\n
He had watched me bury him.<\/p>\n
His mother had held my hand while I cried.<\/p>\n
Someone had arranged a funeral.<\/p>\n
Someone had put a coffin in the ground.<\/p>\n
People had brought food to my apartment and sat beside me while I stared at walls.<\/p>\n
Adrian had let all of that happen.<\/p>\n
Now he was 20 minutes away from marrying someone else.<\/p>\n
I washed the mascara from under my eyes and walked out of the restroom.<\/p>\n
My assistant, Kendra, found me near the service hallway.<\/p>\n
She frowned when she saw my face.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat happened?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI need you to do something for me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnything.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cStay with the flowers. Don\u2019t let anyone move the arrangements.\u201d<\/p>\n
She studied me.<\/p>\n
\u201cMeredith, you\u2019re scaring me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShould I call someone to come help us?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNot yet.\u201d<\/p>\n
I walked toward the ceremony space.<\/p>\n
Guests were already taking their seats.<\/p>\n
I recognized almost no one.<\/p>\n
That hurt more than I expected.<\/p>\n
Adrian had built an entire life around whatever he had done, and somehow I had been removed from it completely.<\/p>\n
Then I saw Julian.<\/p>\n
He was standing near the back row.<\/p>\n
For a moment, relief washed all over me.<\/p>\n
Julian could explain this.<\/p>\n
I crossed the room quickly.<\/p>\n
\u201cJulian.\u201d<\/p>\n
He turned.<\/p>\n
The color drained from his face.<\/p>\n
That was all the answer I needed.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou knew.\u201d<\/p>\n
His eyes shifted toward the hallway.<\/p>\n
\u201cMeredith, please. This isn\u2019t the place to do\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou knew he was alive.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cKeep your voice down.\u201d<\/p>\n
I laughed once.<\/p>\n
It sounded ugly.<\/p>\n
\u201cI stood beside your family at his funeral.\u201d<\/p>\n
Julian rubbed his forehead.<\/p>\n
\u201cPlease. Let me explain after the ceremony.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe ceremony?\u201d<\/p>\n
He lowered his voice until it was barely audible.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s complicated.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo. Complicated is changing a wedding date. Complicated is finding out your fianc\u00e9 cheated on you. This is something else.\u201d<\/p>\n
A few guests looked over.<\/p>\n
Julian stepped closer.<\/p>\n
\u201cAdrian was going to tell you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen?\u201d<\/p>\n
He didn\u2019t answer.<\/p>\n
I felt something inside me settle.<\/p>\n
The grief was still there, but another feeling had moved beside it.<\/p>\n
Clarity.<\/p>\n
\u201cWho\u2019s the bride?\u201d<\/p>\n
Julian looked away.<\/p>\n
\u201cHer name is Sarah.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow long?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMeredith.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow long has she been with him?\u201d<\/p>\n
His silence lasted too long.<\/p>\n
\u201cBefore the accident,\u201d he finally confessed in a low voice.<\/p>\n
A wave of nausea hit me.<\/p>\n
I nodded slowly.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo there was no accident.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThere was an accident.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
Julian exhaled.<\/p>\n
\u201cAdrian was in the car, but he survived. Someone else didn\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n
I stared at him.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe took advantage of the accident to disappear.\u201d<\/p>\n
Julian\u2019s expression tightened.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe panicked.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe faked his death.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe thought it was the only way to get out.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOut of marrying me?\u201d<\/p>\n
Julian looked ashamed.<\/p>\n
\u201cOut of everything.\u201d<\/p>\n
I stepped back.<\/p>\n
For months, I had imagined Adrian\u2019s final moments.<\/p>\n
I wondered whether he had been afraid. I wondered whether he had thought about me.<\/p>\n
Instead, he had survived and decided that death was easier than honesty.<\/p>\n
I heard music begin inside the ceremony space.<\/p>\n
Julian grabbed my arm.<\/p>\n
\u201cMeredith, please don\u2019t do anything.\u201d<\/p>\n
I pulled away.<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t touch me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Then Colleen appeared.<\/p>\n
She looked from Julian to me and closed her eyes.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou told her.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe didn\u2019t have to,\u201d I replied.<\/p>\n
\u201cMeredith, please.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou held my hand.\u201d<\/p>\n
Her face crumpled.<\/p>\n
\u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou watched me cry over your son.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou let me stand in front of that coffin.\u201d<\/p>\n
Tears filled her eyes.<\/p>\n
\u201cI thought I was protecting him.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFrom what?\u201d<\/p>\n
She looked toward the groom\u2019s room.<\/p>\n
\u201cFrom ruining his life.\u201d<\/p>\n
I felt my throat tighten.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo you ruined mine instead?\u201d<\/p>\n
She had no answer.<\/p>\n
As the ceremony music changed, I finally saw the bride.<\/p>\n
Sarah stood near the entrance with an older man beside her.<\/p>\n
She looked nervous and happy.<\/p>\n
She also looked completely unaware.<\/p>\n
That changed everything.<\/p>\n
I had imagined storming into the ceremony and humiliating Adrian.<\/p>\n
But Sarah wasn\u2019t my enemy.<\/p>\n
If she knew the truth, that was one thing.<\/p>\n
If she didn\u2019t, she was about to marry the same liar I had almost married.<\/p>\n
I slowly made my way toward her then.<\/p>\n
Colleen followed me.<\/p>\n
\u201cMeredith, don\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n
Sarah looked up.<\/p>\n
\u201cCan I help you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m the florist.\u201d<\/p>\n
She smiled faintly.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe flowers are beautiful.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThank you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBefore you walk down that aisle, there\u2019s something you need to know.\u201d<\/p>\n
Her smile disappeared.<\/p>\n
Colleen whispered my name.<\/p>\n
I ignored her.<\/p>\n
Sarah glanced between us.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat are you talking about?\u201d<\/p>\n
I told her.<\/p>\n
Not loudly.<\/p>\n
Not dramatically.<\/p>\n
I told her Adrian had been engaged to me three months earlier.<\/p>\n
I told her about the accident.<\/p>\n
I told her about the closed casket.<\/p>\n
I told her that I had attended his funeral.<\/p>\n
Sarah stared at me.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s impossible.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI wish it were.\u201d<\/p>\n
She looked at Colleen.<\/p>\n
\u201cIs she lying?\u201d<\/p>\n
Colleen said nothing, and Sarah\u2019s face immediately changed.<\/p>\n
\u201cMs. Colleen?\u201d<\/p>\n
Still nothing.<\/p>\n
Then Adrian appeared at the far end of the hallway.<\/p>\n
He stopped when he saw me.<\/p>\n
For the first time that day, he looked terrified.<\/p>\n
\u201cMeredith.\u201d<\/p>\n
I turned toward him.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou finally remembered my name.\u201d<\/p>\n
Sarah stepped forward. \u201cPlease tell me she\u2019s lying.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adrian looked at his mother.<\/p>\n
Then Julian.<\/p>\n
Nobody helped him.<\/p>\n
\u201cSarah, I can explain.\u201d<\/p>\n
She slapped him.<\/p>\n
The sound echoed through the hallway. Guests began standing inside the ceremony room.<\/p>\n
Adrian touched his cheek.<\/p>\n
\u201cSarah.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou told me that she knew about everything.\u201d<\/p>\n
I froze.<\/p>\n
Adrian looked at her sharply.<\/p>\n
Sarah started crying.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou said Meredith knew you wanted out. You said the funeral was some legal mess your family couldn\u2019t stop.\u201d<\/p>\n
I stared at him.<\/p>\n
He had lied to her too.<\/p>\n
Different lie. Same cowardice.<\/p>\n
\u201cI didn\u2019t know anything,\u201d I told her.<\/p>\n
Sarah covered her mouth. \u201cI\u2019m so sorry, Meredith.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo am I.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adrian stepped toward me.<\/p>\n
\u201cMeredith, please listen.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI never wanted to hurt you.\u201d<\/p>\n
That almost made me laugh.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou let me bury you.\u201d<\/p>\n
His face twisted.<\/p>\n
\u201cI just didn\u2019t know how to end things.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo you died?\u201d<\/p>\n
He had nothing to say.<\/p>\n
I removed my florist badge and looked at him.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou were right about one thing.\u201d<\/p>\n
He frowned.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSomething went wrong today.\u201d<\/p>\n
Then I walked away.<\/p>\n
I neither destroyed the flowers nor made a speech because neither mattered.<\/p>\n
Sarah left through the front doors with her father.<\/p>\n
Guests began whispering.<\/p>\n
Julian disappeared into the ceremony room to explain whatever he could.<\/p>\n
Colleen sat down against the hallway wall and cried.<\/p>\n
Adrian stood alone in the suit he\u2019d bought for our wedding.<\/p>\n
For months, I had believed losing him was the worst thing that had ever happened to me.<\/p>\n
Walking out of that venue, I finally understood something.<\/p>\n
I hadn\u2019t lost the man I was supposed to marry.<\/p>\n
I had discovered who he really was before I married him.<\/p>\n
There was a difference.<\/p>\n
And for the first time since the funeral, I didn\u2019t feel like a grieving fianc\u00e9e.<\/p>\n
I felt like Meredith again.<\/p>\n
So here is the real question: When someone lets you grieve a life they never lost, do you still want answers, or is walking away the only closure you need?
\nEND<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Three months after burying my fianc\u00e9, I forced myself to work another wedding. Then I saw his mother slipping away from me, and her reaction made no sense. Adrian and … <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2764","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-home"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/readstorynews.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2764","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/readstorynews.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/readstorynews.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/readstorynews.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/readstorynews.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2764"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/readstorynews.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2764\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2765,"href":"https:\/\/readstorynews.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2764\/revisions\/2765"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/readstorynews.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2764"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/readstorynews.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2764"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/readstorynews.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2764"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}